Korban was really happy to see me and Selah when he got home. He was all excited and in a good mood. We greeted him and loved on him for a while. But he was used to having his Nana all to himself and getting all the attention and he clearly wasn't ready to share with me and Selah. Oblivious to this fact, I was showing my mom this new little game that Selah and I had been playing in which I call out a letter of the alphabet and Selah runs and stands on that letter on the alphabet mat in our playroom. She doesn't know all of her letters yet but she's doing really well. Anyway, we just made this game up this morning and she was all into it, so I was showing it to my mom. Korban was in the living room playing with something, and I thought he was totally fine. After about the third letter that I called out for Selah, he came barreling into the playroom like a little thundercloud, screaming "No more learning!" (Also, WHAT is his deal with anything resembling learning? He doesn't even want his sister to do it.) He pushed me so hard I went stumbling across the room and my mom caught me.
From there, everything just sort of went downhill. He kept screaming and hitting me. He had a couple of meltdowns. This was interspersed with periods of relative calm. Once he and Selah were playing together in the floor and I was close by watching them. Before I even knew it, he was on Selah pulling her hair with both hands. I had to pull him off of her, and she was screaming of course. Not that I blame her. I know it hurt, plus it's scary.
I thought he was doing better, and both kids wanted to go outside and play this afternoon. Everything was going okay but Korban got upset because his toy wasn't doing what he wanted it to, and he just flipped out. He had a major meltdown--one of those where he just all out attacks me. He was tearing at my clothes, pinching me, scratching me, hitting me. I tried to hold him and he head-butted me. Selah was scared and upset.
This is my arm that he scratched up and yes it's worse than the picture looks.
It's hard to take pictures of your own wounds but I wanted proof.
So after all of that was said and done, and Korban was finally calm, Brad hooked the Wii up. Since Korban was at my mom's last night, we decided to save the Wii for tonight and enjoy it for the first time as a family. I wish I had a video of Korban's face when Brad turned on Mario Kart. He did one of those things where he literally just vibrates with excitement. It's so cute. Selah had never seen anything like it before, but she knew right away that she liked it. She was jumping up and down saying "I want to play! Can I be the princess?"
Korban still wants to sit and watch somebody play rather than play himself, but I think it's just because it's new and he doesn't have the hang of it yet. The steering wheel is definitely a good thing--he can hold it better than the remote and he did drive several times and we could tell he enjoyed himself. It's just so funny because Brad is good at it and when he starts driving Korban totally just zones in on the screen and watches the car. It's hilarious watching his facial expressions for different parts of it.
Selah drove her car right off a cliff like 18 times in a row, which may indicate that she inherited my driving ability. I took my turn to "show her how to do it" and drove the car straight off a cliff myself. *cough* Just trying to make her feel better. I also forgot that the steering wheel was attached to her via the wrist strap, and when she and Brad were playing together she asked me for help and I tried to take the steering wheel from her. Of course, when I pulled on it, she came with it and I ended up halfway dragging her in my lap. She thought it was funny though.
We had a really good night. They were getting tired but didn't want to stop playing. Selah even told me that she didn't need a bath, but I was able to convince her that the Princess wouldn't want her to go around all stinky.
I bathed Korban first so he could go back and play alone with his dad while I got Selah washed and ready for bed. She went back into the living room to watch them play and I went to put on my pajamas. I was thinking about what all went on earlier in the day, and how one of the hardest parts is all the negative thoughts that run through my head during the midst of all of it. I'm usually a pretty positive person, or at least I try to be, but it's very hard to keep that mindset when you are having your rear end handed to you by your own child. I was worrying to myself that whatever we are able to do for Korban won't be good enough. That things will get worse instead of better. That Selah will hate all of us when she grows up. So much worrying and fretting and bad thoughts. And then when I finished getting dressed I went back into the living room and found this:
Kids are amazing. Such resilient little people! More so than adults, I think. They don't love on each other like this often, and it really meant a lot to me on today (and at that moment.) Please pray for God to be extra close to my two babies, and to love on them and protect them as only He can. Pray for his mercy and grace to cover our entire household. I just want to say again how thankful I am for our friends who pray for us, and the ones who have gone out of their way to support us and provide encouragement. You guys are our angels and we love you.
One more thing...Korban actually fell asleep on the couch watching Brad play Mario Kart tonight (the steering wheel controller was still attached to his arm.) :)
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 NIV