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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Selah's Day At The Park With Her Pal Elmo

Selah waving hello
I think she's asking Nana to baby-sit Elmo.

Taking a rest
Going down the big slide
Ready, set, go!
Is it just me, or does Elmo look terrified?
She loves pushing Elmo in her stroller.
Going for a ride
Selah said "Dig, Elmo."

Personally, I always thought Elmo was a bit of a brown-noser...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Pics from Selah's Baby Dedication

Sweet Selah
Selah eating honeydew.  It kind of matches her dress.  Food AND fashion!
Korban chowing down on some watermelon at lunch
My Daddy's grave with the dedication flowers placed on it
Sittin' Pretty!
Selah in her post-dedication snooze
Selah with her Mommy, Daddy, Korban, Nana, Mammaw and Grandpa

Father's Day 2011

We had a good day today. The church service this morning was very special. It was Selah's baby dedication. She looked so beautiful in her little white gown and it was a blessing to be able to publicly promise to raise her in a Christian home. The pastor anointed her with oil and prayed over us. Our family stood with us also. It was very touching. We considered letting Korban stay seated with someone in the audience since we didn't know how he would handle being up in front of everybody, but we dismissed that notion very quickly. He's one of us, and we are proud of him and I don't ever want him to feel excluded. Our church has been very good to us and even asked if there was anything they could do to accommodate him. All in all he did really well. He did grab at a lady who was presenting us with flowers and a gift Bible for Selah, which I really hated, but other than that all was well. Selah was completely nonplussed by the extra attention and passed out asleep on her dad's shoulder as soon as we got back to our seats. Apparently being dedicated to the Lord can really wear you out!

After that, we went out to eat with our family and some sweet friends, and that was nice. My kids nearly cleaned out the fruit bar. It was funny. They especially enjoyed the watermelon. I wish my daddy could've seen all of that. I miss him so much! He was an excellent father. Very patient and loving. He was also intelligent and humble at the same time. And of course, very funny. I truly do miss him, but I can't complain too much. We had so many good memories while he was here on this Earth; more than a lot of people get in more years than we had together. So I choose to be grateful for that and keep on walking, keep on living, because I know that's what he would want. But it's always in the back of my mind that I wish he were here to enjoy it with us, especially on days like today. This evening we went to the cemetery and put the flowers from Selah's baby dedication on Daddy's grave. I thought that was a fitting way to honor his memory.  Honestly, I don't visit his grave too often.  He's just not there.  But I wanted to go today, so we did.

And then we came home and played outside until the fireflies came out. I hope Brad realizes how much he means to me and the kids, and that we did enough to celebrate him today. He truly is an awesome daddy to our little monkeys and I love him all the more for it. I hear a lot of sad stories about families dealing with autism in which the father can't or won't accept the diagnosis and the whole family suffers because of that. I'm thankful I've never had to deal with that. It's true, the parents of autistic children have a much higher divorce rate than families with healthy children. And given the stress level, I can honestly see why! But I feel like Brad and I are fighting against the autism and not each other, and that has made all the difference. Brad is strong and caring and fun to be with and he has talked me down out of the crazy tree more times than I could count. He's involved with our kids and there for them. Korban calls him " Dawee," because he can't quite say daddy. It's sweet. I think he's the best "Dawee " there is!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


So I am basically doing an experiment this summer. Kiddie movies are $2.00 at the Malco theater so I'm taking Selah in an attempt to teach her how to act in public. The first movie we saw was "How To Train Your Dragon," so I have named my experiment "How To Train Your Selah." We used this same method with Korban and he does pretty well in a theater now. My motto is let them practice while it's cheap. Plus the theater has good air conditioning and you can't beat that.

She loved the dragon movie, especially Toothless, the Night Fury dragon. She called him
"kitty." We saw Charlotte's Web today and she also liked it. Turns out she is very fond of pigs. These little movies are also good practice for me. I tend to load up like a pack mule and I'm also clumsy, so I consider this a training maneuver. We left the movie early today to go pick up Korban from his summer school class. When we stood up to go, I was balancing Selah, an overstuffed diaper bag, and my purse. Her snack bowl popped out and went rolling several aisles away from us but a nice man retrieved it for us.

Korban has therapy at The Autism Center of Tupelo on Mondays and Wednesdays, extended school year classes on Tuesday and Thursdays and occupational therapy on Fridays so we are busy. The comment has been made to me that we just need to "let him be a kid."That sort of stung. And my response to that was "He doesn't know how to be a kid. That's what we are trying to help him with." It's true. He's not like Rain Man or anything, but his idea of playing is trying to toss something into our ceiling fan. I'm serious. So part of his therapy is just learning how to play appropriately with toys. And I can't even put into words how happy it makes me to see him driving his little bulldozers and tractors. Seriously, the first time Brad and I saw him driving a car rather than just spinning the tires while humming, we let him stay up past his bedtime just because we didn't want to tell him to put the car up and go to bed. He does work very hard and we are careful to reward him for that and we try to do as much fun stuff as possible. So I think it sort of evens out. He is improving, even though that is easy to lose track of sometimes. I pray we are on the right track and not overdoing him or missing out on something he needs. But we are doing what we can, so I guess I just need to be at peace with that.

Monday, June 13, 2011

You Know You Are Living In The Crazy House When...

You glance up at the kitchen ceiling and notice that there is a glob of dried chocolate pudding up there.

There is a thunderstorm rapidly approaching and you are stuck outside waiting on your poor disabled dog to potty and his bathroom of choice just so happens to be a grove of pine trees.

You find yourself uttering phrases like "stop licking your sister's hair!"

Your son does business on the toilet and then hollers to his sister "See-ya, come nook at it.". (Selah, come look at it.)

Selah actually does go look at it.

You call someone on your cell phone and don't know why you can't hear them until you notice that,while the earbuds are plugged into your phone, they are not plugged into your ears.

Your mom starts every other sentence with "Dr. Oz says..."

Your daughter emerges from your bedroom wearing three of your bras around her neck like tropical leis.

Finding shoes that match has become such a problem that you have decided if the good ol' days were indeed simpler, it was because no one could afford shoes.

You wonder if all the people in the nudist colonies are there because they got tired of looking at mountains of laundry.

While in a public place, you discreetly point out another child to your husband and ask him "Is that the kid Korban's been hitting," and your husband says "I'm not sure. Walk Korban past him and see what happens."

Even though you realize that you and all the people you love are all very weird, you wouldn't trade this crazy, interesting life for the world.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Finally, a Picture!

Selah at the park
(BTW, I've only had this blog for about 8 months, and I finally figured out how to add pics.  Clearly, I'm a techological genius!)

Reasons Why I Hate Autism

 Because I am sitting in my van typing this when I should be in church. (After making a supreme effort to get ready, I would've liked to enjoy the service rather than have to take Korban out because he didn't last fifteen minutes. And more importantly, I need all of God that I can get right now.)

Because I can't have a conversation with my son and I would love to know what he is thinking.

Because everything is harder than it should be.

Because I am tired of wrestling.

Because I got the blood scratched out of my forehead before I even opened my eyes this morning.

Because I can't even sneeze without potentially causing a meltdown.

Because I can't afford it and I hate thinking that our son would be better if we had more money.

Because I miss being able to talk to my husband without setting off a round of ear-piercing screams.

Because of the ear-piercing screams period.

Because I am afraid Korban won't get better.

Because I am afraid it will steal Selah from me too.

Because I just realized this post sounds whiny and self-centered and I'd like to think I’m not that way.

Because if my mom read this she would feel the need to remind me that it could be worse and then I would feel guilty for writing all of that and I KNOW it could be worse and most of the time I think I do a pretty good job of being grateful for everything we are blessed with. But sheesh, a person needs to vent every now and then.

Okay, now I feel better....

The REAL Reason I Use Environmentally Friendly Products

I have recently made a real effort to use as many environmentally friendly household products as possible. (Meaning as many as I can afford.). I even have organic laundry detergent. Because I heart the environment. And I think it's important to be good stewards of all that God has given us. But the REAL reason I use those products is because for the most part they are nontoxic and I just never know when my kids are going to eat something. Case in point: this morning I found Korban using my deodorant for chapstick. Thank you Tom's of Maine for your yummy (perhaps a little too yummy) apricot deodorant and the fact that it did not give me a reason to call Poison Control.