Reasons Why I Hate Autism

 Because I am sitting in my van typing this when I should be in church. (After making a supreme effort to get ready, I would've liked to enjoy the service rather than have to take Korban out because he didn't last fifteen minutes. And more importantly, I need all of God that I can get right now.)

Because I can't have a conversation with my son and I would love to know what he is thinking.

Because everything is harder than it should be.

Because I am tired of wrestling.

Because I got the blood scratched out of my forehead before I even opened my eyes this morning.

Because I can't even sneeze without potentially causing a meltdown.

Because I can't afford it and I hate thinking that our son would be better if we had more money.

Because I miss being able to talk to my husband without setting off a round of ear-piercing screams.

Because of the ear-piercing screams period.

Because I am afraid Korban won't get better.

Because I am afraid it will steal Selah from me too.

Because I just realized this post sounds whiny and self-centered and I'd like to think I’m not that way.

Because if my mom read this she would feel the need to remind me that it could be worse and then I would feel guilty for writing all of that and I KNOW it could be worse and most of the time I think I do a pretty good job of being grateful for everything we are blessed with. But sheesh, a person needs to vent every now and then.



Okay, now I feel better....