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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Letter to Selah on her First Birthday

Dear Selah,
You are one now, sweet girl!  I can't believe how fast this past year has flown by.  Everyone tells their children that they are growing up too fast, but baby girl, you really are.  A lot has changed since you came into our world.  The past year has been bittersweet, but rest assured, the majority of the sweetness came from you. You came screaming into the world on December 3rd, 2009.  And I do mean screaming!  But you settled down right away when they gave you to your daddy, and he brought you to me.  You seemed pretty pleased to meet us, and we were really glad to finally get to see your pretty little face.  We had to pry you off of me for the nurses to take you to the nursery to get your measurements and everything.  We were reunited shortly thereafter.  You spent your first night sleeping on my chest.  The night nurse scolded me for not sleeping more when she came in to check on us, but I was just happy to hold you.  (Plus, I was afraid I would drop you if I went to sleep!)  You haven't really spent a night by yourself since you arrived.  You wouldn't want anyone to have to sleep by themselves, especially you!  Ever since you came to us, you've seemed very alert and aware of everything that is going on around you.  You won't even eat if too much is going on.  I think you are afraid you might miss out on the fun.  You seem to pick up on everything quickly, and you amaze everyone around you.  You smiled your first real smile at three weeks, and it was beautiful.  I used to lay you in my lap and talk to you and you would make faces back at me.  It was like we were having a conversation.  I loved it.  You laughed out loud really early too.  You rolled over for the first time on Easter Sunday.  You were lying in the floor playing and started to flip over.  I shouted to get your Daddy's attention, and startled you so much you almost didn't make it.  But you did.  And you've been on a roll ever since.  You crawled at six months and started pulling up right after that.  You walked at ten months.  You and Korban were playing outside in front of our house, and you took one step and fell into my open arms.  I was so proud of you, and you were proud of yourself too.  Now you are all over the place!  We can't take our eyes off of you for a second.  You are very quick and also very curious.  You have seven teeth already.  Seven!  Considering that your brother cut his second tooth on the morning of his first birthday, you seem exceptionally toothy to me.  You like to eat, but you want to do it yourself.  You weren't crazy about baby food, but you like anything you can pick up with your fingers and feed yourself.  You are learning how to use a spoon.  And you love to freak me out by finding little particles on the floor and stuffing them in your mouth.  You have a strong personality, and I am thankful for that.  I think you will be a strong leader one day.  I know God has big plans for your life, and I believe he has already used you in powerful ways.  I mentioned earlier that this year has been bittersweet...Your Pop went to heaven when you were only two weeks old.  It was hard on all of us.  He had been very sick for a long time.  He did get to meet you, and that was what I had asked God for.  I knew Daddy's time was coming, and I just wanted him to see his granddaughter.  On the day you were born, your Nana and Pop came to see you in the hospital.  They didn't get to stay long.  They brought Korban with them to visit, and lets just say he wasn't too thrilled at the prospect of having a baby sister.  (Don't worry--he's warmed up considerably now.) They also came to see you on the day we came home from the hospital.  We spent quite a bit of time together then.  Your Pop even got to hold you.  I'm SO sorry I didn't get a picture of that.  I probably won't ever stop regretting that, but I can still see it in my mind.  He was so proud too--afterwards he kept telling your Nana "I got to hold her, I got to hold her."  It was sweet.  Everyone says how crazy he would've been about you.  And it's true.  You guys would've had a lot fun together.  I hate it for you that he won't be around while you are growing up.  He was a great Pop.  But he's in a better place and he's not sick anymore, so we take comfort in that.  I think people felt bad for us, losing such an important person in our lives right after gaining such a precious little person.  It didn't seem fair.  But I'm glad you came when you did.  Honestly, sweet girl, in those days, holding you was about the only thing that made me feel any better.  I can't believe an entire year has come and gone since that time.  I pray for you., little girl.   I pray for wisdom and strength in raising you.  I pray that me and your Daddy will set a good example.  I pray that you will know God's love and never doubt it for one second.  And I pray that you won't ever doubt our love for you either.  I pray that when God knocks on the door of your heart, that you let him in with no hesitation.  I pray that you and Korban will have a close relationship and that you will understand him.  I know all siblings fight and get on each other's nerves, but I pray that underneath all of that, you guys will have a truly special relationship.  When you first got here, Korban cried whenever I held you.  Now he cries for me to hold you because you get in his stuff. It's hilarious.  But you guys play together and you have learned things from him and taught him so many things too.  It's amazing to see.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I just want you to know that he truly does love you, even if he does occasionally try to sit on you.  I pray that you will have a compassionate heart, a sweet spirit, and a loving heart.  And I believe that God has already placed those things inside you.  You are miraculous and we love you so much.  We thank God for placing you in our care.  You are such a blessing!  Here's to many more wonderful years!

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