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Saturday, May 5, 2012

Holy Toddlers In Tiaras, Batman! (Why I may not be cut out to be a dance mom)

We signed Selah up for a little dance class last year.  It was technically supposed to be for two-year-olds, and she was still one but they let her come anyway.  A family member told us about it, since her little girl was taking the class, so we signed Selah up.  I thought it would be good for her for several reasons.  First of all, we are always taking Korban to therapy and stuff, and while it's necessary, they do try to make it fun for him.  Selah used to always cry because she couldn't go back and "play" with the therapists too.  So I wanted her to have something just for her.  Also, most of our friends are boys so I wanted her to get to spend some time with little girls too.  And lastly, I was hoping that if we started early enough Selah might actually be graceful enough to walk across the floor without tripping over her own two feet, despite having a good deal of my genetic material.  :)  She has loved the dance class and I've loved watching her.  She has gotten to be BFFs with her sweet cousin Abbie, and she always looks forward to going to dance each week.  They are taking the summer off, and our end of the year recital is tonight.  Exciting!  She has a sweet little yellow costume and they are performing along with the other dance groups at the high school auditorium.  This morning they had practice at 9:?30 at the auditorium to prep them for tonight.  When we got there, the older group was practicing and there were some delays, so we didn't actually start practice until closer to 11:00.  Brad was helping his mother at the Green Market this morning, so it was just me and the kids.  The kids really did better than I expected having to wait all that time, but it wasn't exactly a picnic.  Korban behaved better than Selah.  She stood up in one of the auditorium seats, and it closed up, trapping her foot and leaving me to get her unstuck while she screamed at the top of her lungs.  I know it hurt.  She has a bruise and a scrape to prove it.  Only my monkey. Then the other dance teacher, the one I don't know, got up to make announcements.  It was then that I started feeling really nervous.  She was telling us what time to be there tonight, and the routine to follow.  She said not to let the girls wear their costumes to the auditorium, which made sense to me because I wouldn't want it to get messed up in the car.  But according to her it is "bad luck, and tasteless and tacky," to already be wearing your costume when you arrive.  I am practical, but NOT superstitious. Which is funny, because my family sort of is.  Growing up, it made me nervous to think that you had to do some weird thing like toss salt over your shoulder just to keep bad stuff from happening.  When I grew up, I read in the Bible where it says "Have nothing to do with godless superstitions," and that was enough for me.  But I understand that the dancing/arts community has little superstitions like that, and I'm not judging.  I just hope I can get through the night without inadvertently doing anything tasteless or tacky myself.  Then she moved on to the subject of panties.  Or the lack thereof.  She talked about how tacky it is for underwear to be hanging out from underneath the leotard, and that NONE of the dancers should have panties on underneath their costumes.  And I see how panties hanging out from a leotard is tacky, really I do.  But considering that 95% of Selah's class isn't potty trained, I think a puddle of pee (or worse!) onstage would be even more tacky.  Right?!?  So Selah and all the other children who's moms feel the same way I do will be wearing Pull-Ups.  I rather have the Fashion Police called than Haz-Mat.  Just saying.  Then she moved on to the topic of makeup.  She explained how the lights wash everyone out and that they would need to wear more than "everyday" make-up for their faces to show up, etc.  Again, I know this makes sense but the thought of putting make-up on my two-year-old makes me slightly queasy.  She's TWO!!!  I was having mental images of Toddlers in Tiaras, and Selah with a bunch of glitzy make-up on and us making her practice walking in high heels and buying her little false teeth and eyelashes.  Arrrgh!!!  But it's just one night, and I'm pretending it's like Halloween.  I wouldn't object to painting her face to go with her Halloween costume, and this is a similar occasion I guess.  It's not like we're going to do it everyday.  And Selah's already a little diva, I'm sure she will enjoy it.  Since I can barely do my own make-up, our friend graciously offered to help me out in this area.  I'm such a nerd!  I never did anything like this when I was growing up.  But let me just say that while I'm still not down with the whole toddler make-up routine, I do want her to have opportunities like tonight.  I did stuff growing up, but I mainly took piano lessons, played in the band,  and read books, and stuff like that because it was what my parents were comfortable with.  I never did sports or dance or anything like that because it was out of their comfort zone.  I want my kids to have a choice.  Now certain things are non-negotiable. We WILL go to church, they will be kind to others, and things such as that.  But as far as the extra-curricular stuff, if it's music, or dance, or sports, or some combination of all of the above or something totally different than that, I want them to have the opportunity to choose.  Stepping off the soapbox now.    It was finally their time to practice.  They have what they call a "baby parade" in which the little girls walk across the stage to the song "I Hope You Dance," while the announcer calls their names out and they blow kisses to the audience.  Very sweet. Then they do their little routine, which is "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."   When they danced their routine, Selah completely ignored the dance teacher standing in the wings reminding them of their movements, and all of her little friends which were copying said movements.  She moved to the front center of the stage and jumped and twirled and did her own little dance.  And when the music ended, she bowed.  I'm not even kidding.  So she marches to the beat of her own drum.  And you know what?  I love that about her.  I'm thankful she's healthy enough to do something like this.  She's my "neurotypical" child.  Meaning she doesn't have autism.  But sometimes I think there isn't much typical about her either, and I'm totally okay with that.  So tonight I'm thinking I need to get a seat on the front row.  Not because I think it will provide a much better view, but because I want to be there to catch her in the event that my monkey dances completely off the stage.   So tell Selah to break a leg, and then say a prayer that she doesn't actually do that!  :)

1 comment:

  1. Go Selah Go! I know she'll be fantastic tonight!