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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

First Game Day of 2013

A few weeks ago Ole Miss had it's first home game of the season.  This would be the only game at home for a month.  We had tickets and were looking forward to going. We decided to stop in Tupelo and let Korban spend his Tooth Fairy money on his much-anticipated trip to Chuck E. Cheese’s. We didn’t eat there, just got tokens and let the kids play. Now let me say, I’ve heard plenty of parents talk about how much they hate Chuck E. Cheese because it’s so loud and over stimulating for them, and I know people that won’t go at all. I certainly see where they are coming from, but it doesn’t really bother me. I’m pretty sure I’ve sustained some hearing loss whilst raising my sweet but loud Korban (I know other autism parents will know what I’m talking about) so I have a new definition for loud.

But let me say, that day Chuck E. Cheese was LOUD. And when I say loud, I mean like, deafening. Seriously, the employees at the front desk had to shout at each other just to be heard above the roar, and that was before you even got into the melee. They were having a birthday party, and were singing and stuff over the loudspeaker. So poor Korban had been looking forward to this trip so much, and there he was with his hands clamped over his ears, crying and saying “Mom, my ears hurt so bad.” I know it’s just life, but it didn’t seem fair at all to me and it honestly made me sort of angry. We gave him the choice to go or stay, and he chose to stay. He really was so good about it. In all of that stress, he only grabbed my hair once, and he didn’t pull then, just grabbed and held. I just felt sorry for him. But eventually the birthday party singing and games and stuff were over and it returned to the normal Chuck E. Cheese dull roar. We played some games, collected our prizes, and high-tailed it out of there. It wasn’t our best Chuck E. Cheese trip ever, but I’m glad we got to go and hope maybe it will be better next time.
Winning with daddy at Chuck E Cheese

We headed on to Oxford.
Selah is set for the ride...love those big eyes

We were happy because our friends Jason and Dez and their sweet boys were meeting us there, and we had seats together. Once we arrived in Oxford, as usual, Korban pointed out that we had arrived.  Korban seems to have a sixth sense about noticing that we are indeed in Oxford and at Ole Miss without being told and usually before even I do.  Parking was a NIGHTMARE—you can’t park on campus this year unless you have a parking pass, which cost about a bazillion dollars. Or some real amount of money that is well beyond our budget. But non-rich fans are allowed to park at the mall and wait on a shuttle to take you to campus. Which is nice that they provide that for free, but seriously, parking was still a nightmare. We got there HOURS before the game and there were no legit parking places left. We parked in a tree. Not even kidding. Not up in a tree, but on a curb in some type of tree-like shrubbery. But we didn’t let that dampen our enthusiasm. Although we sure did complain about it for a while!

The kids liked riding the shuttle though, and after getting to campus and wandering around the Grove and other assorted areas for at least 15 miles (thank you Brad!) it was time to go to the stadium. We sat in the north end zone, and the seats were good. Selah and Jack immediately settled in with the ipad, which is a real blessing on game day, because I’m pretty sure Selah would get up and leave without it. Because she doesn’t love to sit and watch football like her brother does. While I’m being honest, I have to say I don’t love to sit and watch football like Brad and Korban do. Don’t get me wrong, I love football, but it would be hard to match their love of the game. What I do enjoy watching while at the games are PEOPLE! Brad has never totally understood that. He’d be like “Oh man, did you see that awesome play!” and I’d be like “Aw, look at that cute baby!” It’s just how we are. But honestly, Ole Miss games give you a lot of great people watching material. I supposed it’s like that at all college football, but honestly. The Clothes!!! And that’s all I’m going to say about that. If you’ve ever been to a game, you know what I’m talking about. Maybe I’m just bitter because I’m sober and without stilettos and I still fall down. A lot. For example, at the Spring Game, I was standing in the aisle holding Selah, and a woman stopped to let us out in front of her. To thank her for her kindness, I fell down the steps in front of her. Niiiiice. But I managed to do without squishing Selah or hurting myself. Like I said, I’ve had practice. Seriously, here I am watching talented athletes play on the field, and I can’t even maneuver the bleachers without falling down. The irony is not lost on me. But I can respect grace and athletic ability, even if I don’t possess a shred of it.

But back to the game and the people watching. Dez and I enjoyed that about as much as Selah and Jack enjoyed playing together on the iPad. And that is to say, a lot! It always amazes me how far people will go to get their alcohol fix at a game. I’ve already covered my fellow student with the crotch liquor, so I won’t go into all of that again. But if you don’t know that story already and you want to scar yourself for life, I posted that one last year under “The Hotty Toddy Potty and Other Tales of Ole Miss Football.”

This time, the girls sitting behind us, who appeared to be about 12, were eating Jell-o shots out of a plastic grocery bag. Now Brad didn’t understand this when I first tried to point it out to him, on account of he was busy watching the game and all. He thought I meant they had nice, neat little Jell-O shots packed in a grocery bag. No! I mean they had globs of alcoholic Jell-O dumped in a grocery bag. I don’t know how they smuggled it in, and I don’t wanna know. And they were eating it straight out of the bags with teeny, tiny forks. Because if you are going to eat Jell-O shots directly out of a plastic grocery bag, of course you need a teeny, tiny fork to eat it with. Anything else would just be stupid. So the girls apparently got bored and left the game way early, mumbling something about their hands being sticky. But they left their bag of Jell-O right there where they were sitting, and it melted and dripped between the bleachers, creating a puddle on the walkway underneath. I told the others to make sure that the kids didn’t get it and eat it. My kids love Jell-O. Can you imagine showing up at the ER with four drunk children and trying to explain how that happened? Although Jason said if we told the doctors we came directly from the Ole Miss game, he was sure they’d understand.

Ole Miss dominated the game, which is good, but each time they score a touchdown, they fire a cannon, which is not so good. Especially if you are sitting right behind said cannon with a child with sensory issues who has already been pushed to his limits. The first touchdown three things happened, Brad jumped up and cheered, the cannon fired, and poor Korban burst into tears. He came running down the row to me, holding his arms out. But Brad was able to get him and calm him down. “Daddy you scared me!” he told him. Brad felt bad, but it was fine. He explained that he was just cheering because he was happy, and Korban understood. I was worried about him, but he was able to relax and enjoy the game. I was thankful. He did so well at the games he went to last year, but we just never know how things are going to go.

Towards the end of the last quarter it looked like we were about to score another touchdown, so Brad decided to take Korban to the concessions stand with him to refill our drink so that they would miss the cannon shot. Good thinking. But while they were gone, the rest of us decided that since there were only a couple of minutes left in the game and Ole Miss had it in the bag, we would just gather our stuff up and go down to meet Brad and Korban so we could go on and leave. Now, let me just say, Brad had been cautioning me the entire time to make Selah be careful with the iPad and not to let her drop it. But he wasn’t there and I wasn’t paying very close attention to her while I gathered my stuff up, and she stood up to bring me the iPad and dropped it. Not very far, and not very hard. No damage was done, and Brad wasn’t there to see it. No harm, no foul. But it sort of panicked me when it happened and I was all like “Oh no! NO NO NO!!!” and then snatching the iPad up and looking at it. Once I determined that it was fine, I spent some time saying stuff like “This never happened. It’s all good. Brad does not need to know about this!” Jason and Dez know how protective Brad is of our electronics, and they readily agreed to keep my secret. So why am I blogging about it, you ask? Because my husband surely reads this blog, right? He does. Let’s just say, be sure your friends will find you out.

We got up Sunday morning and were rushing around getting ready for church. I got Selah dressed first and she sat on our bed and played with the iPad while I dressed Korban. We always take the iPad to church with us because it helps keep Korban calm so that he can last longer in the service. We all loaded in the van and were headed down the highway when Brad laid the iPad in my lap and said So…you wanna explain this to me?” My hackles raised immediately, but I knew it hadn’t been damaged. I looked down at the iPad he had laid in my lap, and it was open to the puppet master game that Selah loves to play. You can record your puppets acting our different plays. RECORD! Guess what Selah and Jack had been playing at the end of the game the night before? Puppet Master! And guess what else? Selah recorded the entire thing! Her dropping the iPad, me being upset, and then instructing everybody not to tell Brad about it. “So what exactly is it I’m not supposed to know?” he asked me. And then I realized that he didn’t fully know what had happened, although I felt it was pretty obvious. For crying out loud, his daughter recorded it for him. I CAN’T GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING! “Well, um, what do you THINK happened?” I asked nervously. “Did you leave Selah at the game?” “WHAT?!?” I responded. He told me to listen to the recording, so I did. He had heard it while Selah was playing with the iPad and I was still getting ready that morning. So I pressed play, and while the little ballerina danced across the screen I could hear Selah and Jack’s sweet voices acting out their little play. And then you hear Jack say “Um, Selah. Our families are leaving.” He had just noticed Brad gone, and me and his parents packing our stuff up. So they got up and then Selah dropped the iPad and the next thing you hear is me freaking out and telling everybody not to tell Brad what happened. So I could see where he thought I had left Selah and it was hilarious. Then I was just able to say “Oh, no. I take care of your daughter! She just dropped the iPad. But it’s fine! See?” It’s obviously fine, because it was able to rat me out. Traitorous tech gadgets!

After that, we hiked back to the shuttle to catch a ride back to the where our vehicles were illegally parked. We wound up being on the shuttle for a long time, even though it was a short distance, because traffic was so bad. Korban got a little restless, but there was a young woman perched on a cooler in the center aisle (there were more people than seats) and she was so kind. She talked to him and kept him entertained while we were stuck. I love cool people!
All in all, it was a good day. It’s good to spend time with family and friends. So here’s some tips if you plan to go to Ole Miss for a game anytime soon:
  1. Either shell out a bazillion dollars for a parking pass or be prepared to give yourself a Haldol injection over parking.
  2. Watch out for the cannon, especially if you have one with sensory issues.
  3. Do NOT eat Jell-O shots out of a grocery bag. But if you MUST, don’t forget your teeny tiny forks. And for Pete’s sake, clean the mess up afterwards.
  4. Should you find yourself perched on a cooler on a stuck-in-traffic shuttle, be nice to the little kids around you. Their tired mamas will appreciate it so much they might blog about you, kind stranger.
  5. Pack your kids pajamas so that you can change them because if you get lucky and they fall asleep on the way, you can just transfer them to their bed once you get home.
  6. If you are going to lie to your husband, make sure the iPad doesn’t record you.
    The Pride of the South Band Pregame Show
    He is his daddy's son!
    Love that dress.  Love the calm moments like this!
    It was hot out and a girl needs a cold drink
    How Jack and Selah enjoyed the game
    Calm, Cool and Cheese

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